• kids: hey dad where are we going for our next vacation
  • me: well lets see kids
  • me: *throws dart at map of the world*
  • me: hm
  • me: another trip to the middle of the pacific ocean
  • jesus: i died on the cross for your sins
  • me: aint nobody tell u to do that tho


do you ever go down your dashboard, see hot people everywhere, then look at yourself and get really sad

(via tipslip)


The girl you just called hot? That me

(via tipslip)

Like this post


i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean

(via dulect)

  • morning: no
  • afternoon: no
  • evening: no
  • night: maybe


I may be obnoxious but at least I’m obnoxious in the tags

(via telapathetic)


u readin this?

u a princess.

i dont care if youre a goddamn bodybuilder, ur now princess protein

(via nooneisgonnastopus)


*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable

(via pebbleboi)

"You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness."
- (via bratsquad)

(via singforme)


Kinda wanna punch you in the face, kinda wanna suck your dick

(via tipslip)


all i want is for someone to play with my hair and rub my back and tell me everything is going to be okay

(via tipslip)