• kids: hey dad where are we going for our next vacation
  • me: well lets see kids
  • me: *throws dart at map of the world*
  • me: hm
  • me: another trip to the middle of the pacific ocean
  • jesus: i died on the cross for your sins
  • me: aint nobody tell u to do that tho

spectives:

do you ever go down your dashboard, see hot people everywhere, then look at yourself and get really sad

(via tipslip)

haemus:

The girl you just called hot? That me

(via tipslip)

Like this post

mydogsnokes:

i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean

(via dulect)

  • morning: no
  • afternoon: no
  • evening: no
  • night: maybe

phaserbeams:

I may be obnoxious but at least I’m obnoxious in the tags

(via telapathetic)

zanetheaiden:

u readin this?

u a princess.

i dont care if youre a goddamn bodybuilder, ur now princess protein

(via nooneisgonnastopus)

notmargaery:

*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable

(via pebbleboi)

"You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness."
- (via bratsquad)

(via singforme)

laptopped:

Kinda wanna punch you in the face, kinda wanna suck your dick

(via tipslip)

uhmeliamay:

all i want is for someone to play with my hair and rub my back and tell me everything is going to be okay

(via tipslip)